VIVA THE  DIFFERENCE                                          

Genesis 1:27   G-D created man in his own image,
in the image of G-D he created him
male and female he created them. 

   In the women's world we think that all men are the same. They smell, they scratch, and yes it is good to keep them around to open jars and kill spiders, but ,do you know that although your husband is similar to other men, he is totally UNIQUE ? The L-RD created him as one of a kind .

Your husband is not like you either, for instance ; a woman tends to use her " women's intuition " to analyze a situation or a person.  A man follows logical analysis of circumstances and people.

Adonai created men and women with different emotional, mental and physical abilities and NEEDS,

Learning to appreciate the differences and how to meet each other's needs are the foundation of a good marriage and a lasting relationship.

Listed below are some of the few differences according to Dr. Paul Popenoe, founder of the American institute of Family Relations in Los Angeles.  Dr. Popenoe said:

 "Men and women differ in every cell of their bodies, this difference in the chromosome combination is the basic cause of  development into male or female as the case may be. Women differ in skeletal structure, there are also internal differences. Women have a larger stomach, kidneys, liver and appendix, but smaller lungs than men.

In bodily functions, women have several important ones totally lacking in men -- menstruation, pregnancy, lactation. Women's hormones are different and more numerous than men's. These hormonal differences influence behavior and feeling.  The thyroid gland behaves differently in the two sexes. Women's thyroid is large and more active. Consequently, it enlarges during pregnancy and during menstruation; it makes her more  prone to goiter, provides resistance to colds, is associated with the smooth skin, relatively hairless body, and thin layer of subcutaneous fat. Women's blood contains more water than men's ( 20%fewer red cells). Since the red blood cells supply oxygen to the body cells, women tire more easily and are more prone to faint. Their  constitutional vitability is strictly a long-range matter.

In Brute strength, men are 50 % above women. Womens’ heart beats more rapidly ( 80 beats per minute vs. 72 for men ). Their blood pressure ( 10 points lower than men ) but they have much less tendency to have high blood pressure at least until after menopause.

Women's breathing power is significantly lower than men's. Women withstand high temperatures better than men because their metabolism slows down less.

Women's sexual drive tend to be related to their menstrual cycles, while men's drive is fairly constant. The hormone testosterone is a major factor in stimulating men's sexual desire. Women are stimulated more by touch and romantic words. They are far more attracted by a man's personality, while men are stimulated by sight.""

Understanding the importance of these differences is very vital to avoid many conflicts in marriage
accept these differences and love will grow.

Genesis 2:18 ." The L-RD said: it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him".  G-D created women as a significant Helper and Completer because men definitely need help with making and maintaining relationships.?

Women are blessed with the ability to build meaningful and intimate relationship, but often when a woman loves a man she form a "home improvement committee" wanting to change him, she thinks that since her motive is clear so her attempts are loving, but he feels rejected, controlled and unloved.  She thinks that he doesn't want to change because he doesn't love her, and he thinks she wants to change him because he is not good enough. This causes hurt to creep in, walls to go up, and the end is disastrous.  Well, how do we avoid such an end ?
     You hear so many women saying , "I love my husband but sometimes he doesn't let me into his life, or I feel sometimes that he hurts me on purpose. He is not sensitive to my needs, and doesn't listen.  He would rather watch tv or be with his friends than spending time with me. When we were dating he was my best friend and now I don't know what has  happend."  Well, the answer to all these questions is found in the word of G-D,

Eph. 5: 33 However, each one of you also MUST LOVE his wife as he loves himself, and the wife

MUST RESPECT her husband

The scriptures make it very clear that the one thing is a must for women and they CAN NOT do without is AFFECTION, and the one thing that is extremely important to men and they CAN NOT do without is  RESPECT.

      Affection to most women symbolizes security, and approval. When a husband tells his wife that he loves her, what she hears is :" I accept you the way you are, I will always be here to care for you and protect you because you are important to me." From a woman's perspective, affection is the glue of her relationship with her husband. Women fall in love with  men who make time to communicate with them and show them affection.

As a side note for men : it is through the little things that a man can display his affection. Holding hands, a card or a love note, flowers, those little things that a man will do for a woman without her asking is what romance is. It makes her feel deeply loved.

Here are some ideas for men from the king of romance, King  Solomon himself:

* How beautiful you are, my darling... All beautiful you are, my darling, there is no flaw in you.

* Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon, your mouth is lovely.

* Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.

* Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride, milk and honey are under your tongue.

Proverbs 18:22 " He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the L-rd.

Proverbs 5: 18-19 " May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer, may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."

      And just like women, men need to be loved, they need the security of genuine love. The genuine love that said "I love you unconditionally, I know you are not a perfect man but you are perfect for me , I value you and appreciate you for who you are." 

Respect means admiration. Admiration is one of the deepest and most important need for a man. Through your love and appreciation to your husband, his need for respect is met.

Proverbs 18: 21 " the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Belittling your husband and criticizing his abilities is the most damaging thing you can do to destroy his self-esteem. His self-image is negatively altered, especially when it is done before his friends or his children. The military with all their tough rules and training tactics recognizes the first basic principle of leadership ; that it is totally unacceptable to belittle a man's character or ability in front of others.

Nagging is another olympic sport that women are very good at.  Women nag thinking that it will motivate their husbands  to fulfill his responsibilities.  Instead ,it will make him feel incompetent.   

Making your husband feel special will increase his desire to treat you in the same way. A man simply thrives on a woman's admiration, learning to fulfill this important need, you will satisfy his hunger for honest appreciation and respect, and he will be more attentive to fulfill your needs. From domestic support, to wanting to spend time with you,  giving you his undivided attention, finding sexual fulfillment in your marriage.

I love how the scriptures describe the godly woman, in Proverbs 31

1- A wife of a noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

2- Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value".

3- She bring him good , not harm, all the days of her life.

4- Her husband is respected at the city gate....

5- She is clothed with strength and dignity,

6- Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

Do you notice that the book of Proverbs begins with the command to fear the L-rd, and end with the picture of a woman who fulfilled this command.

Proverbs 31: 29-31 " Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

                                Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman

                                who fears the L-rd is to be praised."

I pray that Adonai will bless you with wisdom and Joy in finding fulfillment in your marriage.